Schwarz Switch
by Carter Tachikawa
Summary: The sequel of "Switch" as a birthday present for a lot of people. This time it's Schwarz's turn to be screwed around. What happens when their minds are switched? Chaos, of course. various pairings but namely BradSchu, RanKen, and NagiOmi
1. Prologue: That's Not Mine

Schwarz Switch  
  
Prologue: That's Not Mine!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: This isn't mine. It'll never be mine. *Breaks down crying*  
  
***Happy birthday to me! I turn the useless age of 22 and for my birthday, I got Ran and Schu as slaves again!  
  
Ran: *glares*  
  
Schu: Goody.   
  
To celebrate, I bring you the long awaited sequel to "Switch". You should probably read that first since it picks up from there but reading this first wouldn't hurt you either. Anyway, this revolves more around Schwarz but same old silliness is back. Brad/Schu, Ran/Ken, and Nagi/Omi are your pairings.   
  
Enjoy! ***   
  
It all started as a normal day for Schwarz. Lounge around during the morning and afternoon and attack the city at night. Tonight had been very special. They got to fight Weiss, their nemesis. Despite getting some hits and a bump on the head, they made it back home without a scratch.   
  
Still it hadn't been a normal fight for them. Weiss had been acting very strangely. There was something about that wasn't quite right. Nonetheless, they all escaped with no broken bones or missing limbs. Now all Nagi Naoe, youngest member of Schwarz, wanted to do was take a nice hot shower.   
  
It would have been great if Schuldig hadn't also wanted to take a shower. It would have been ever better if Farfarello did not push him and Schuldig into the bathroom and then lock the door from outside. They yelled at Farfarello to open up but to no avail. Then Nagi gave up and watched as Schuldig banged for a while. All the while, he never noticed anything strange.  
  
"Let me out! Let me out! Farfarello!" Schuldig began screaming and banging on the door. "I'm missing Makeovers Extreme!"   
  
/Schuldig watches Makeovers Extreme?/ Nagi was amused. Makeovers Extreme was a show where real life people changed their look with plastic surgery. Every week they'd feature a person who was rather ugly and change them into someone gorgeous. Last week's episode was the beginning of a two-part breast reduction extravaganza. Tonight, they were airing the second part and Schuldig evidently wanted to see that. Nagi snickered.   
  
"Farfarello! Open this door!"   
  
No answer. Schuldig tried pulling on the doorknob but to no avail. It seemed that Farfarello and Crawford had left them and forgotten to unlock the door from outside. Nagi sighed with disgust, put down the toilet lid, and sat down on the toilet. Things were not going well.   
  
"Damn you, Farfarello! Get back here and_" Schuldig stopped and took a look at himself in the mirror. Then he gasped and moved in to get a closer look.   
  
"No." He whispered. Nagi wasn't paying attention to any of this. "This is not happening. This is a dream. This has to be a dream. No way am I_"  
  
He looked over at Nagi, who still did not understand why he had been shoved into a bathroom with Schuldig. He had fought long and hard with Bombay of Weiss today, who kept talking about plastic surgery for some reason, and he needed to clean himself. He only wanted a shower and suddenly someone pushed him. Now he was sitting on the toilet while Schuldig stared at himself in the mirror. All the while, he kept gasping and grabbing his long orange hair. Then he began poking his cheeks and patting his hands down his body.   
  
*/What's wrong with you?/* Nagi asked telepathically. */You've been poking yourself ever since we were locked in./*  
  
Schuldig did not answer immediately. He kept gasping and poking himself in various places. Nagi sighed and looked down. His eyes caught sight of the Armani suit he was wearing. The glasses he wore slide down the bridge of his nose. And that was when he realized something strange was going on.  
  
Armani suit? Since when did he ever have an Armani suit? And when did he wear glasses? Now that he looked at himself, he realized he wasn't wearing any of his normal clothes. His hands and feet were rather big. He felt like another person.  
  
/Something's not right./ Nagi realized. He began checking his entire body the way Schuldig had been doing. /I don't wear glasses. I don't wear Armani suits. These hands aren't mine. These feet aren't mine. And this_/  
  
He made sure that Schuldig wasn't looking and took a quick peek into his pants. He gasped.  
  
/Oh, I wish that *was* mine! But it's not./   
  
Schuldig looked at him strangely. "I don't believe this."  
  
"Believe what?" Nagi was puzzled. His voice sounded strange. It sounded like Crawford's.   
  
"Who are you?" Schuldig demanded, green eyes blazing. He grabbed a towel off the rack and was prepared to use it as a whip. "What have you done?!"  
  
"I'm Nagi. Why?" He still sounded like Crawford. "I haven't done anything."  
  
"Nagi? Prove it."  
  
"Yes." Nagi tried to move the soap bar with his mind to prove that it was really him. The soap bar did not budge. He kept trying and it still wouldn't move. Was something wrong with his power?   
  
Schuldig calmed down and dropped the towel. "This isn't happening."  
  
"What isn't happening?" More of Crawford's voice came out of his mouth.   
  
"I'm really Crawford."  
  
"Crawford?"  
  
"Look at me! I'm too young and hip and Schuldig! I'm a walking stick of studliness and German sausages! I'm beautiful!"  
  
Nagi was more confused than ever now. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"   
  
"No wonder I didn't see this happening. I'm Schuldig now!"  
  
"Crawford, please!" Nagi held up his now large hands. "I have no idea what is going on. If you're really Crawford, then why do you look and sound like Schuldig?"   
  
"I don't know. I don't know what happened but I'm_"   
  
"What are you talking about?!" Nagi, finally annoyed by all this, exploded. "What is going on with you?!"   
  
"Look at yourself in the mirror." Schuldig nodded toward the mirror. Nagi walked over and stared at it.   
  
Brad Crawford stared back at him. It was the same Crawford who led Schwarz and secretly watched Makeovers Extreme.   
  
Nagi blinked twice. And then he screamed.  
  
~~~   
  
TBC...  
  
(Well, you know two switched personalities:  
  
Crawford's body = Nagi's mind  
  
Schuldig's body= Crawford's mind  
  
All that remains is what happened to Farfarello and Schuldig! It gets insane later I promise you.   
  
Ran: Yes it does.  
  
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Read, review, be respectful, and send presents! I mean, be true.) 


	2. Chapter 1: Schwarz's Extreme Makeover?

**Schwarz Switch**

(Chapter 1: Schwarz's Extreme Makeover?)

**Disclaimer: No, this still isn't mine. You have no idea how many changes I would have made to the Weiss storyline if it were mine. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. This next one is dedicated to Pocky King Windy because it's his birthday! Happy birthday!**

*** * ***

While 'Crawford' and 'Schuldig' (In reality, the real Nagi and Crawford) were stressing over their new change, 'Farfarello' and 'Nagi' (the real Schuldig and Farfarello) were watching the latest edition of Makeovers Extreme. It was a secret tradition among Schwarz to watch every episode that came out. Even when they went out at night, they set the VCR so the episode would be taped and they could watch it later. Of course, neither the real Schuldig nor the real Farfarello knew what was going on. In fact, Schuldig thought he was looking at Nagi. He had no idea who was really inside that mind. 

The only thing Schuldig was wondering was where Farfarello and Crawford were. Both of them were major fans of this show too. He just remembered Nagi shoving them into a bathroom together and that was it. Then Nagi led away to the living room and turned the TV on. They fell quiet and ignored the other two in the bathroom because this was Makeovers Extreme! This was the best show in all of Japan and they would not miss a minute of it. Tough luck for Crawford and Farfarello. As they waited for the show to start, however, Schuldig kept thinking about Crawford. The two of them were having an affair behind everyone's back (except for Farfarello and Nagi) and the fact that _his _Crawford was stuck with crazy Farfarello made him feel uneasy. What was going on? 

_Maybe I am going crazy. What would my Braddy see in Farfie anyway? _Schuldig wondered. _I clearly have the better goods! Ha ha!_

"Where did Farf and Braddy Daddy go, Naggles?"  Schuldig asked, using the nicknames that Crawford and Nagi hated. That's when he started to realize something was different. His voice sounded strange. Instead of a German accent, he sounded _Irish. _Then he shook his head and forgot about it. Considering all the mind tricks he played on other people, it wouldn't be a surprise if his mind was playing a trick on _him_. Or perhaps he was being paranoid. 

"In the bathroom." Nagi smirked. But it wasn't a usual smirk. Nagi looked almost psychotic with that smile and he wasn't angry about being called 'Naggles' either. "They're making God suffer." 

Schuldig looked at Nagi strangely. Then he shook his head. _Someone was hanging around Farfarello too much. But are you serious about them making God suffer? And how are they making him suffer, may I ask? _

If Nagi heard him, he made no indication of listening. Again, it was not a surprise because Makeovers Extreme had just started. Nagi began humming the theme song and watching as hoards of ugly people were turned into beautiful models. Then the announcer came on. 

"Today on Makeovers Extreme, the breast reduction special! Watch as one woman goes from double D to single B! But first, remember our friend Junko from last month?" A picture of a rather plump woman with a sagging chest and dark spots all over her body came up. Schuldig almost gagged at the sight of her. "Well, she's returned and we're going to show you her new look! She lived for weeks with no mirror and she never went outside to do anything! Well, we'll see her now! She did it all, from the facelift to the tummy tuck! Not to mention we added some juice to her caboose and collagen to her lips! We'll reveal the new Junko after a commercial break."

"Finally!" Schuldig exclaimed as the TV went into commercials. He still sounded rather strange saying that word but it didn't bother him right away. "They can't make her worse than what she already is!"

"It was God's fault." Nagi muttered. "He does this to his people. He makes them unattractive and unwilling to accept themselves. He doesn't care that they suffer because of their bad looks. He punishes them for no reason. He makes them fat, ugly, and out of proportion. He is responsible for their unhappiness."

Schuldig stared at Nagi for a long time. "You okay, chibi?"

"I'm fine. I'm just angry at God! Look at all these victims! I know they loathe God too! He did this to them!" Nagi shrieked. "So they're resisting him by changing what God gave them!" Then Nagi began to laugh but it didn't sound normal. He was almost acting like Farfarello with all the talk about God being unfair. Schuldig just shrugged.

"Sure, chibi." Schuldig looked down at his hands and caught the second wrong thing with this picture. His hands were horribly scarred like the ones on some Makeovers Extreme people. They were cut and bruised and badly shaped. He tried to remember the last hand injury he had. It was a bad moment.

_Did I put my hand in a blender or something? _ He wondered. He wasn't stupid enough to do something like that. He couldn't remember the last time he cooked or cut up something. And the wounds certainly didn't come from fighting Weiss. If anything, it looked like he had cut himself.

_Impossible! I'm not crazy like Farf. I wouldn't do something like that. Don't you agree, Nagi-wagi? _Schuldig asked telepathically. Nagi didn't answer. And that became the third wrong thing with the whole picture. He couldn't hear Nagi's thoughts no matter how hard he tried to tap into his mind. All he got was silence. Nagi made no motion of hearing Schuldig. He just sat and watched Makeovers Extreme come back on. When it did, he jumped up and down.

"Junko will get her revenge!" He exclaimed with glee, rubbing his hands. "Take that, God! I knew you couldn't win in the end!" 

"Um, Naggles?" 

"Not now, evil twin of mine! God will suffer for this first!" Nagi stared at the TV screen and watched as a beautiful woman walked on screen. He whistled and cheered with delight. "Yes! God is crying for his evil plan to make Junko ugly has failed!" 

_Huh? _Evil twin? What was Nagi rambling about now? Schuldig looked down at himself. And that's when he knew something was very wrong indeed! He was wearing all of Farfarello's clothes! In fact, this body appeared to be Farfarello's instead of his. _But this can't be! I'm Schuldig! I have to be Schuldig! Why am I wearing Farf's outfit?! Why can't I listen to anyone's thoughts? Am I going crazy?! _

Then he began to put everything together. His voice didn't sound familiar because it wasn't his. It was Farfarello's. The hands also belonged to Farfarello and he must have cut them when he was 'hurting God' again. The clothes belonged to Farfarello. It was almost as if he was_

"Stop everything!" Crawford yelled, bursting into the room. And behind him was another Schuldig, which caused the real one to gasp. This other Schuldig gasped as well when he saw who was in the living room. He nearly collapsed to the floor but was able to deliver himself in an armchair. "We managed to break out of the bathroom in time! You will not believe what has happened!"

"About time you came." Nagi said, ignoring everything. "You missed Junko's new look. Oh well, you're in time for the breast reduction." 

"I don't care about that! Something strange is going on!" 

"No, really." Schuldig in Farfarello's clothes asked, crossing his arms. "I've already figured something strange was going on. You tell me what I'm doing in Farf's clothes, who that imposter is behind my Brad, and why I sound like Farf. The last time I checked, I had my own outfit. There was only one Schuldig in this house. And I sounded like myself. I have that beautiful German accent instead of this strange Irish one." 

"You want answers? Look at this!" The other Schuldig held up a small mirror. 'Schuldig' gasped when saw who stared back at him. It was Farfarello! He began to make all kinds of faces. Farfarello's reflection began making those same faces. 

"You're kidding me." 'Farfarello', formally Schuldig, said. "Come on! This has got to be a bad dream that we're all having!" 

"I wish it was." 'Schuldig' sighed. "But I know it isn't. I'm in your body, Schu. You're in Farfarello. Nagi is in my body. And Farfarello is in Nagi's." 

"Farfarello is in _my _body?!" 'Crawford' squeaked in a voice no one, not even the real Crawford, knew he had. "Oh no! This is bad! This is very bad!" He began to tear out his hair.  

"Watch it!" 'Schuldig' yelled. "I just dyed it this morning!"

"I don't care!" 'Crawford' shouted. "This is wrong! This is wrong! How am I going to explain this?!" 

"Is something wrong?" 'Nagi' asked innocently. He said that only to make God suffer by watching 'Crawford' go crazy. Makeovers Extreme wasn't the only way to hurt God, after all.  

"Of course something's wrong!" 'Crawford' shouted. Then he pulled down his pants and underwear so that everyone could see his bare behind. 'Schuldig' cringed as 'Farfarello' and 'Nagi' gasped. "Does this look like it belongs to me?"

"Um, Nagi?" The other Schuldig tried to say. But it was no use. 'Farfarello' and 'Nagi' were just staring at 'Crawford'. They looked at each other. And then shook their heads.

"Nope, Naggles, that definitely isn't yours." 'Farfarello' said.  "I should know. I've seen it a million times before. I'm shocked on one thing though. There's no stick up that butt anymore. Did you take out the stick in my Braddy's butt, Nagi-wagi? That's not right because only I'm allowed to touch it." Farfarello smirked. 

"Ugh, no!" 'Crawford' looked disgusted. "Why would I do that? Keep all the sticks to yourself!"

 "Schu! Nagi!" 'Schuldig' hissed. "Can't you see we're in the middle of a crisis here?"

"I can only see out of one eye, darling." 'Farfarello' said. It felt strange but he suddenly knew why his vision was somewhat impaired. It hadn't hit him until now. "And yes, I know we're in the middle of a crisis. What are you doing with my sexy body, may I ask?"

"That's what I want to know! I want to know how I got in your body and why Nagi is in mine! And why are you in Farfarello's body?"

"Beats me. Anyway, all that does explain why Nagi was so excited about cutting his arms tonight." 

"Cutting my arms?" 'Crawford' looked pale. "But I'm not immune to pain!"  
  


"I know." 'Nagi' held up his arm, which had a long red scratch across it. "I ran it through water and almost howled. I thought God was playing a trick on me like he has done in the past."

"Well, I don't know if it's God but someone _did _play a trick on us!" 'Schuldig' fumed. "It must be Esset or Weiss! They are probably laughing at us now as we speak!"

"How can they be laughing at us?" 'Crawford' asked. "They probably don't know what happened either! No one knows what happened!"

"I'm not sure but I feel like they are to blame!" 'Schuldig' snapped. "Wait till I get my hands on them! I am going to make them pay for this torture! Do you know that Nagi and I were in a bathroom together and couldn't get out, no thanks to Farfarello? And you didn't help either, Schu! Where is my boyfriend when I need him?"

"Well, I thought you wanted to be there to do_" 'Farfarello' blushed. "I thought you were doing the number 1 or 2."

"Not when Nagi is in the bathroom with me! And besides", 'Schuldig's' voice grew soft, "the only one I want to spend time in the bathroom with is you."

'Farfarello' blushed again. "Aw, Braddy, you romantic!"  

"This is terrible!" 'Crawford' ignored them and moaned. "What else can go wrong?!" 

"Look at what I can do!" 'Nagi' laughed maniacally. Everyone turned to see that 'Nagi' was making the table float in the air. 'Crawford' looked horrified. "This is so much fun! Oh, think of the damage I can do to God with this power! The possibilities are infinite!"

"Oh no." 'Farfarello' said. "Tell me we did not also switch powers. Tell me we did _not switch powers!_"

"Farfarello has my telekinesis?!" 'Crawford' gasped. "No! He'll abuse that power!"

"Oh, I do not want to know what other people are thinking!" 'Schuldig' groaned. "I refuse to use this telepathy! What am I going to do with it anyway?"

There was crash from behind them. The three of them turned around to see that 'Nagi' had lost control of the table and let it fall to the ground. It was now broken in half. 'Nagi' could only shrug sheepishly.

"Sorry." He said, not sounding sorry at all. "But you must admit that it made God jump." 

'Crawford' groaned. "This is going to be a very bad week for us." 

"I didn't even need to read your mind to know that." 'Schuldig' added.

TBC…

* * *

(I apologize for the shortness of this chapter but seeing that Windy's birthday is _today, _I had to hurry. Please forgive any mistakes you find. Thanks. Next chapter will be up soon. Here's a chart of who's inside whom.)

BODY         MIND

Crawford    Nagi

Schuldig     Crawford

Nagi          Farfarello

Farfarello    Schuldig

Did that confuse you more or does it make sense? The name with 'this' around it's someone's mind. Like if it says 'Schuldig', it is actually Crawford talking. Capisce? Good, explain it to me.

Read, review, be respectful, be true!


	3. Chapter 2: I Broke A Blender!

**Schwarz Switch**

**(Part II: I Broke the Blender and Schuldig's Brain!)**

**By Carter Tachikawa**

(Good God, I haven't updated this in forever! What is wrong with me? Anyway, if you need help, I put a table on the previous chapters. In case you are lazy here it is:

MIND BODY

Crawford Schuldig

Schuldig Farfarello

Farfarello Nagi

Nagi Crawford

Anyway, Weiss isn't mine. I'd do different stuff with it if it were. Weird stuff. Crazy stuff.)

Farfarello had already gotten used to his new body. And he was enjoying the new power that he acquired. He made sure to test everything before throwing it against the wall or at someone else. The others could only stare in disbelief.

"Great, ten minutes in my body and Farfarello has already destroyed the dining room table, a couch, and threw a kitten off a building. Can things get any worse?" 'Crawford' muttered.

"I just broke the blender!" 'Nagi' added. "Crawford' groaned.

"Well, we cannot panic!" 'Schuldig' snapped. "I am certain there is a way to get out of a sticky situation like this. I can predict it!"

"Mmm, I love the way you take charge." 'Farfarello' murmured. He was sitting in a rather suggestive way. 'Crawford' was trying hard not to stare.

'Schuldig' blushed. "Thank you, Schuldig. As I said, I can predict what'll happen next."

"But…I'm the one with your precognitive powers now." 'Crawford' replied.

"…That's beside the point!" 'Schuldig' snapped. "We have to get used to these new powers and bodies. Or things will be very complicated."

"Dear God, I want you now more than I ever wanted a man!" 'Farfarello' exclaimed.

"But what if we forget that our minds are switched?" 'Crawford' asked, still trying to ignore 'Farfarello'. "I may never get used to being so tall…and big…in certain…"

"Oh god, Bradley, you're finally understanding the self-worth of your manly body parts! I need a spanking!" 'Farfarello' turned around and stuck out his rear end so that someone would hit him. Unaware of what he was doing, 'Crawford' did slap his rear end, allowing 'Farfarello' to shriek with delight.

'Schuldig', however, was not happy to see this display. "Why are you slapping my lover, Nagi?"

'Crawford' paled. "I…I don't know."

'Farfarello' also looked embarrassed. "Sorry about that. I'm getting confused between who is my real Bradley and who this imposter is!"

"It's me, strudel noggin!" 'Crawford' snapped. "You know, Naggles?"

"Look at me, I'm juggling eight knives!" 'Nagi' interrupted them. And sure enough, that was what he was doing. He had eight very sharp knives floating in the air, slicing apart plants, the sofa, wallpaper, curtains, and several other things. 'Crawford' was horrified.

"Oh, God, Farfarello stop!" He exclaimed.

"How dare you say the wretched one's name!" 'Nagi' boomed. "For that, I should slice you open!"

"No, no, no! I'm sorry, I'm…" Before 'Crawford' could finish, he had his first prediction. Chocolate…whipped cream…bondage…and a paddle. "Oh dear, I just saw myself paddling through a river chocolate in a leather thong!"

'Schuldig' frowned. "That's probably not what the vision meant, Nagi, I'm sure…"

"Heads up!" 'Nagi' yelled before throwing a pie pan at 'Crawford's' head. Predicting it before it came, he ducked and it ended up hitting 'Schuldig' instead.

'Farfarello' sighed. "This is going to be one painful and long day."

'Crawford' shook his head. "I think I'm going to take him with me. I have someone I need to see."

"Who?"

"Someone that I hope can help us."

Back at the flower shop, Weiss was enjoying a night of relaxation with TV. There was nobody to attack, Schwarz was lying low, and the girls left the shop early today due to final exams coming up. Omi was the last one in as they settled down to watch the latest American crime drama.

"How much did I miss?" He asked.

"Twenty minutes but nothing much has happened." Yohji replied. "Well, there's no nudity yet anyway. Hey, it's back!"

"We now return to CSI: Animal Victims Unit."

"Good gracious, it seems that this raccoon didn't die when it fell into the hydrochloric acid. It died because someone shot it, strangled it with the entrails of a horse, and then dropped it in the acid to finish the job!"

"Very interesting. And what about the carcass of the carpet beetle I found?"

"I think it was thrown in to throw us off."

"People do that to us a lot."

"I know, I know. Say you want to sleep with me tonight?"

"You got Tivo and crack?"

Yohji sipped his beer. "Man, American television is so much better than what we get. Plus the women are better looking and they solve crimes. Nothing is sexier than a woman who solves a crime. And she wears a tank top while doing it."

"You know what would be even better looking?" Ken said, a mischievous look in his eyes. "Aya wearing nothing and killing off our targets."

"In your dreams." Aya muttered.

"I know but it would be nice to have you do that in reality too."

Suddenly, a sharp rap banged on their door. The four men looked at each other before Omi got up (the couple on the TV were back to trying to find to locate the raccoon's family) and opened the door. To his surprise, Nagi was there.

"Nagi!" He whispered. He looked back at the others, told them that it was nothing but the wind, and stepped outside. "Everybody else is busy watching CSI: Animal Victims Unit and they'll probably start watching a rerun of CSI: Plant Life soon. What are you doing, koi?"

From the distance, 'Crawford' watched as 'Nagi' began to do everything instructed. Hopefully, he would stay in character.

"Omi, I have something to tell you." 'Nagi' began. Unfortunately, he immediately forgot what he was supposed to say. "Do you believe in God? Do you believe that he has forsaken you and thus should burn in the Hell he has created? Has he given up on you? Have you given up on him?"

Omi raised an eyebrow. "Nagi, are you okay? Did Farfarello make you watch the Christian channel again?"

"Oh, no, no. I am just curious. Because you see, God is not a good person. He makes suffering and death take place on Earth. He is unforgiving. He is unkind. He is the reason you and I are in this situation, on two different sides! God must die!" 'Nagi' exclaimed.

"Nagi, be quiet!" Omi hissed. "The others will hear you! And what is wrong with you? I thought you came to get some from me, not preach anti-God things to me. Because if that's all this is, I'm going back inside. I'm missing precious CSI show time anyway."

_Terrific. _'Crawford' slapped his forehead. _I should never have asked Farfarello to do my job. Now Omi thinks I'm a sadistic, anti-God nut job. Well, there is only one way to fix this._

Cleaning himself up and making sure to wipe that grease stain out of Crawford's suit (which he planned to hide before he went inside or the real Crawford would surely have his head), he stepped out of the shadows.

"Omi, my love, that's not me. That's Farfarello." He began.

Omi glared at him. "You!"

"No, it isn't. Well, technically it is. But at the same time it isn't! What I mean to say is that I sound like Crawford, look like Crawford, and have certain Crawford aspects but I am not Crawford! No, no, I am your true love."

Omi shook his head. "That's not going to work. I've heard that one before!"

"But I'm serious. I am not Crawford. Please ignore the way I look or sound or anything else that doesn't resemble me. I know it's odd to hear a member of Schwarz but we really don't want to kill you. Well, not tonight, anyway." 'Crawford' begged.

Omi was still skeptical. "I don't know if I should believe you…"

"You have to! I'll make you a deal. I'll do you every single night for the next three years."

"Three times a day for the next five years."

"Well, how about twice a day for the next four years?"

"Deal! So you are in Crawford's body." Omi sighed. Then he looked at the other Nagi who was telekinetically moving garbage cans around. "Then who is that?"

"God hates clamor!" 'Nagi' exclaimed, throwing the garbage cans against the wall.

"Man, Omi, shut up! I'm missing precious female CSI moments!" Yohji yelled from inside.

'Crawford' winced. "Do you really need me to tell you?"

Omi sighed. "Okay, I guess I believe you. But what do you want me to do?"

"Help us! You're the only one I can come to at this moment. I don't know why but I have this strange feeling that you were in this similar situation."

Omi could only fake a smile. Nagi or Crawford or whoever it was had no idea how close to the truth he was. A few weeks ago something similar happened to Weiss. Somehow they ended up switching bodies and Yohji, unfortunately, ended up being in Omi's body. He could still taste cigarette butts and something resembling the inside of a woman's thong in his mouth.

"Well, since it's you, I can try and help." He promised. "But did you have to tell Farfarello about us?"

"I needed someone and since Farfarello is in my body, he was the only one I could trust. Besides, he isn't going to cause much harm to your side."

"How do you like me polluting your precious Earth, God?" 'Nagi' suddenly spoke. They both turned around to see him dumping out garbage cans on the ground. "That putrid stench…do you enjoy it, God? Does it make you cry in pain? I hope so. I hope this smell makes you choke."

'Crawford' looked sheepish. "Of course, I could be mistaken."

TBC…

(Jesus, it took me forever to update this! I don't know why though. Anyway, I hope to update faster than I have in the fast. Take care.)


End file.
